I don’t think it is possible to be without judgement. Whether you think something positive or negative about something or someone, it’s a judgement. The dictionary defines judgement as ‘the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion, or conclusion, as from circumstances presented to the mind’.
Making judgements are a natural part of thinking and living.
Judgements are usually also at the root cause of issues such as:
- Poor communication
- Unhappiness (either about a specific issue or in general)
- Relationship breakdowns
So how can we continue making judgements while avoiding such issues?
S – L – O – W D – O – W – N
So many people let judgements run wild in their mind or, worse, let them fall out of their mouths like they’ve absolutely no control over them. These undisciplined verbal explosions can be as small as a bubble bursting, or a big as an atomic bomb. Either way, they are usually driven by fear and do more harm than good. The irony of not slowing down to question the judgements you are throwing around is the consequences of putting the undisciplined judgement out there will cost you far more time than slowing down ever will.
A curiosity stance, like Whitman is suggesting, is the simplest and most effective way to avoid narrow-minded judgements. Get endlessly curious about your life and everyone in it. I suggest curiosity is the closest thing to non-judgement because as long as you are busy asking questions, your mind is too busy to be making final judgements.
Get curious and see your whole world open up…
“When you’re curious, you find lots of interesting things to do.” – Walt Disney
Get curious and see how your relationships with others flourish…
“Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.” – Bryant H. McGill
Get curious and find out how extraordinary you are…
“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” – Albert Einstein
If you’re totally unsure about how to do curiosity, here are a few key questions/phrases to start practicing:
- Tell me more about that.
- What does [insert behaviour/belief] mean to you?
- If I were doing [insert behaviour] what would that look like to you?
- What does [insert any word] mean to you?
- What is your view on this?
- I wonder what is the dream behind their actions?
”I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.”- Eleanor Roosavelt